Reflection: Let them know

Dear Mom and Dad,
Thank you. For supporting me these past 22 years as I made my way into adulthood. For never giving up on me when…well, I didn’t exactly make things easy on you. For steering me back on course when I got off. For allowing me to do the things I wanted to do while never forcing me into doing anything I didn’t want to do. But most of all, thank you for being my parents and for never once making me question whether or not I was loved.
I complain a lot, but that does nothing to my appreciation for both of you. I admire you both to unimaginable ends. Yes, there are times I’ll say that I want to be nothing like either of you, but believe me, there are more times that I want to be…well, at least quite similar to both of you..
Justin

Simple words. Simple sentiments. Not so simple thing to say.

I can only hope that San Diego Chargers running back and NFL MVP LaDanian Tomlinson was able to tell his father these things. Tomlinson’s father was killed in an auto accident Friday when the driver of his car lost control and swerved off the road.

It was sudden. It was unexpected. And it didn’t give Tomlinson any chance to chat with his father one last time before his death. It didn’t give Tomlinson a chance to say goodbye to his father, to tell him that he loved him or to thank him for his support.

Twenty-seven years of advice, friendship, guidance and love came to an end in a matter of seconds. Everything Tomlinson put off telling his father until the next day will be put off forever.

For Tomlinson, there is no more eventually, no more “I can talk to him about it later.”

It really is a sad story for an athlete who has always done things the right way. He’s never spoken out about his teammates or his coaches in the media. He’s never held out for a better contract. None of his record-setting thirty-one touchdowns ended with an embarrassing celebration. You never see his name anywhere near the police blotter section. Tomlinson has proven to be that rare superstar athlete that people should admire.

But tragedy struck him anyway, proving again that no one- not even the most decent human beings are invincible from these kinds of things.

A young football player can learn about the game by watching him play. But a young man can learn about growing up by learning from this tragedy and realizing that your loved ones aren’t going to be here forever.

For me, I learned that lesson in college. I watched my cousin- my best friend in the world who is only one year older than me- lose his father to a sudden illness. One morning his father woke up with a cough; a week later he didn’t wake up. Seeing my best friend’s pain over the death of his father made me want to hug my parents and never let them go.

Two days later, I saw as my mother had to let her own mother go. The helpless feeling she had while saying good-bye seemingly transferred to my body in a moment of pure sickness that I can imagine will only be surpassed by the feeling I get when my own mother passes away.

Situations like Tomlinson’s or like mine aren’t rare. We have all lost people we loved, and we will all eventually lose someone else who we love. It’s a scary thought, but it happens.

So learn from the times you’ve experienced it and learn from the times those around you have dealt with it. Cherish those seemingly meaningless moments with your parents and everyone else you love. Appreciate their company and let them know exactly how you feel. There’s no reason or excuse to put it off until tomorrow because the only thing you know for sure is that those you love will one day be gone. Personally, I can’t predict the day it will happen, but I can predict what will happen today. I’ll tell my parents I love them and that they mean the world to me.